Affectionate Diary

I want to write something that accurately conveys the hate inside me for this ‘product’ but I can’t find the words. Have you bought it? If so, you deserve what you got. Let’s face it, if this had come from anyone else, you would have laughed in their faces. You’ve been suckered by the same people who suckered you into thinking doing basic arithmetic was fun.

I was in Islington last week hoping that they’d have a copy of GTAIV in stock. Obviously they didn’t. It didn’t seem to matter to the business of the shop, though, because it was PACKED with woman buying Wiis and Wii Fit. The kind of woman who you wouldn’t ever want to have sex with. The kind of woman who will most certainly not buy another game for her Wii. All this “we’re expanding the user base” bullshit that Nintendo is spewing - total falsehood. Each Wii purchase for Wii Fit is more than just a befuddlement of the installed userbase statistic for Real Game Developers. It’s a direct dilution of the strategy of every game developer on the planet as each publishers strives to diversify its portfolio to cater for these new Wii owners. Who don’t really care.

It’s not that nobody cares about you anymore, dearest gamer. It’s that less people who make games care about you. And more importantly, less time and money is going to be spent on trying to make you happy.

It’s not getting fit and having fun doing it, because getting fit is already fun. Because getting fit is not just going to the gym and getting on a treadmill and never has been. It’s pretending that it’s the only fun choice and robbing you of your will to seek out fun physical activities. And it’s directly raping the resources that go into making the things that you love the most.

If you want to play games, don’t buy this piece of fucking shit. Don’t add to the hysteria surrounding it. You can already do fucking press ups in your living room you stupid fucking cunt. If it’s not fun then do something else, like fuck. Fucking is fun and should always leave you exhausted.

Wii fucking Fit - preying on your fear of death since 2008.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at 8:06 am and is filed under Gaming Wisdom. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.