Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - the Definitive Review
At last! I’ve been for this for years, and finally I can live out the fantasy that every videogame has denied me till now. I’m done with tanks, and soldiers, and robots, and robots that shoot lasers out of their eyes, and robots with eyes made of lasers that shoot more lasers into your eyes. And I don’t want to act the role of a fucking dwarf that isn’t raping his own children. I want to shoot chickens in the MOTHER FUCKING ASS. I want them to be laying an egg and then BAM! Sniped, and they’re covered in yolk and albumen. Which is the human equivalent of a woman having her aborted foetus shot as it comes out of her only to find her entire body covered in bloody, lifeless entrails. And THEN I shoot the chicken in the head.
There are a couple of annoying things. Sometimes I have to do a level in the snow, or in a part of the world that doesn’t have many chickens. There’s this bit in an airport that has NO FUCKING CHICKENS. What’s the fucking point of that? I presume these bits are there to smooth out the pacing, since you can’t have constant chicken devastation in the same way you can’t have constant orgasms. You’d die. Or go to sleep for a bit. Also, sometimes I’m shooting chickens and somebody shoots me and then my screen gets covered in red blood. Which is fine except the firing direction indicator is also in red, meaning I can’t readily tell where the danger is coming from. And it doesn’t always make it obvious where the chickens are, so sometimes I can see an indicator but there’s a hedge in the way that I can’t cross, and it takes me a few minutes of wandering around to find the next batch of chickens. And for some reason in the multiplayer I’m rewarded for shooting the people who are shooting me, and not for shooting the chickens (of which there are plenty), but these are minor quibbles in an otherwise joyous chicken-filled journey of carnage and destruction.
And why the FUCK did they call it Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2? It doesn’t even say chickens in the title! Idiots.
21
December 17th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Camping and Running and Gunning are just two different ways to play. Frankly, if your team keeps getting killed by a guy thats sitting in the same spot the whole match, your team sucks. I didn’t really see any camping in this vid. He clearly shows himself to the enemy several times (using a very loud gun) and they just dont see him. Also, at any time someone could have came in through the door behind him and stabbed him in the ass while he was on the laptop.
February 22nd, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Completely agree with your comments on this - thanks for taking the time to post.