Affectionate Diary

One of the best things about Mr Driller is that it started in Japan but must have been impossible for native Japanese speakers to pronounce.

If you’re going to say that it’s broken on the 360 because of the lag then FUCK OFF. Mr Driller is one of the most competitive experiences on the planet but it’s not about Vs mode. It’s about SCORE ATTACK. And the scoreboards aren’t broken. They’re just incomprehensible.

I get that they’re cumulative. But I don’t get why when I do a fast run and die once and not get all the air capsules and then I do another run and I get all the air capsules and don’t die, how come my score doesn’t increase? Surely that second score should have been better? Or maybe the scoring in this version is different to every previous Mr Driller. Who knows? And why aren’t there scoreboards for each individual board and character? And what the fuck are those flags for? Are you going to tell me that things randomly appear that can increase my score by a huge enough amount that I should prioritise them over speed, thus explaining the discrepancy in score from run to run? Surely fucking not.

The important thing, though, is that this version feels right. The Gamecube version didn’t feel right. It was too sticky. Like when Tetris left the Gameboy and has felt wrong ever since. The DS version was pretty good too, actually, as long as you didn’t go near the touch screen. Mr Driller A on the GBA was the best version FO SHO. When you scored a huge amount you would be given a password which you could then enter into a Japanese-only website and find out where you ranked in the world - the very definition of hardcore. I was 64th. In retrospect, as the game’s scoring system revolves around speed I can probably discount the scores that were double mine as hacks or people who’d figured out the password format, so I was probably more like top 50. TOP 50. And I won’t rest till I’m in the top 50 in the 360 version either. If only I could figure out how it determines scores.

If Boss Nonnu was to describe the Mr Driller experience for me he would say something like the excellent blend of rhythmic tapping and ultra-fast leanings towards vague strategy combine to produce fucking brilliant sensations of delirious joy. Or something like that. He’d probably be spot on.

It’s not just drill drill drill drill move drill move drill. Well, it is, but it’s not. It’s MORE than that. If you’ve not played a Mr Driller before, this is an excellent place to start. Probably play it on a stick, though. Then when you’re done, go check out Mr Driller A on the GBA.

Scores
Susumu Hori - 5 out of 10
Taizo Hori - 8 out of 10 for short runs, but for anything over 1000m almost completely useless
The girl one - 7 out of 10
The robot, Dilinger Z or something - 3 out of 10
The dog - 0 out of 10
Ataru Hori - 10 out of 10
Overall - Ataru out of the Horis.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 4th, 2008 at 1:59 am and is filed under Gaming Wisdom. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.