Brain Training FAQ
Are you stupid? Can’t get your Brain Training score lower than 80? Eat your own shit for breakfast? Then this is the guide for you!
Each month I will help you score higher in a different minigame in the popular-but-ball-achingly-dull Prof Something’s Brain Training, a game that shows that all the academics who hate games really want is fame and adulation. They couldn’t care less about us!
This month’s FAQ focuses on the mentally exhausting X20 Calculations minigame.
*** TABLE OF CONTENTS ***
I. Version History
II. Frequently Asked Questions
III. Calculations Basics
A. Addition Basics
B. Subtraction Basics
C. Multiplication Basics
IV Credits
I. Version History
Version 0.10 (29/06/2006): Began work on this guide. Outlined the sections, and started on the Version History section.
Version 0.20 (29/06/2006): More or less finished the Versions History section. I have the feeling, though, that I’m missing something there. Had a wank.
Version 0.30 (29/06/2006): Finished wanking.
Version 0.35 (29/06/2006): Thought about the Addition Basics section. Seems like a lot of hassle. Can’t think of anything funny to blog about, though.
Version 0.40 (29/06/2006): Started on Addition. This’ll take a while, I think. Harder than I initially predicted.
Version 0.50 (29/06/2006): Addition section is proceeding. Added a FAQs section.
Version 0.60 (29/06/2006): Removed FAQ section.
Version 0.70 (29/06/2006): Listened to radio.
Version 0.80 (29/06/2006): Played with knob a bit. Unable to muster enough strength to have another wank so soon after completion of previous one.
Version 0.90 (29/06/2006): Searched net for pictures of Keeley Hazell. Some luck!
Version 0.91 (29/06/2006): Wanked.
Version 0.92 (29/06/2006): Did Subtraction section.
Version 1.00 (29/06/2006): Did multiplication section.
Version 1.01 (29/06/2006): Thought about a third wank.
Version 1.10 (29/06/2006): Boss has complained that I am wanking in the office too much.
Version 1.10a (29/06/2006): Added a FAQs section. Thought about if that should have read “an FAQs section”.
II. Frequently Asked Questions
Q. It doesn’t register my handwriting, why is that?
A. You are using the Japanese version. Try writing the answers in Japanese.
Q. It doesn’t understand what I am saying, why is that?
A. You are using the Japanese version and speaking in English. Try speaking in Japanese. If this proves difficult, swap all the L and R sounds around for maximum scores.
Q. Can I reproduce this guide anywhere?
A. No, you fucking dickwad, I rely on this shit to put food on my plate. How would you like it if I walked into your house, shat in your mouth and had sex in your wife’s bottom? Exactly.
III. Calculations Basics
A. Addition Basics
0+1 = 1
0+2 = 2
0+3 = 3
0+4 = 4
And so on. If you substitute any of the numbers for any other numbers, adjust your calculations accordingly.
B. Subtraction Basics
Subtraction is one of the four basic arithmetic operations; it is essentially the opposite of addition. Subtraction is denoted by an minus sign in infix notation.
The traditional names for the parts of the formula
c − b = a
are minuend (c) − subtrahend (b) = difference (a). The words “minuend” and “subtrahend” are virtually absent from modern usage; Linderholm charges “This terminology is of no use whatsoever.” However, “difference” is very common.
Subtraction is used to model several closely related processes:
1. From a given collection, take away (subtract) a given number of objects.
2. Combine a given measurement with an opposite measurement, such as a movement right followed by a movement left, or a deposit and a withdrawal.
3. Compare two objects to find their difference. For example, the difference between $800 and $600 is $800 − $600 = $200.
In mathematics, it is often useful to view or even define subtraction as a kind of addition, the addition of the opposite. We can view 7 − 3 = 4 as the sum of two terms: seven and negative three. This perspective allows us to apply to subtraction all of the familiar rules and nomenclature of addition. Subtraction is not associative or commutative— in fact, it is anticommutative— but addition of signed numbers is both.
C. Multiplication Basics
Remembering 9’s
What’s 9 x 7 ? Use the 9-method! Hold out all 10 fingers, and lower the 7th finger. There are 6 fingers to the left and 3 fingers on the right.
The answer is 63!
This method works with any numbers.
IV Credits
I would like to thank the author of Itsy and Shigsy for being a lazy fucking cunt and not doing any more strips. This blog has really gone downhill since he started playing Rumble Roses XX. Get your fucking cock out of your hand and get drawing. Jesus, we can’t keep people reading when our ideas are as weak as this.
If I’ve missed something, please contact me at: affectionatediary@googlemail.com Unless you’re a spammer, in which case PLEASE DON’T CONTACT ME!!!!!!!!!
(Oh, and in case you didn’t get my little hint above–NO SPAM, PLEASE!!!!! I still hate spammers.)
(And if I’ve missed something then PLEASE! Read my FAQ first before you email me with your inane question. I have a life too, you know!!!)