Almost as good as sex
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008Taking down a boss in Monster Hunter is really fucking satisfying. It’s not just a victory against its attack patterns and hit zones, or the obscure equipment levelling system, it’s a victory against the camera and controls as well. So when you do finally tear the legs off a blind dragon that uses Blanka’s electrical charge move on you, it feels FUCKING GOOD.
The only thing I couldn’t understand was, nobody in town seemed to give a fuck. No ‘thanks, it was eating our sheep,’ no buxom wenches getting their titties out, not even my cat in the kitchen making me a special cake, nothing. Just the dude in the armour shop berating me for not knowing about decorations and then giving me a load of Suiko Jewels. Which suits me fine, actually. But don’t talk to me like that, you fucking slag, I’m already rocking enough jewels to activate the Sword Sharpening skill. I’d cut your fucking throat if the game would let me draw my sword in town.
My girlfriend wasn’t particularly impressed either. “Oh, is that the one that’s killed you four times already?” Fuck off back to your episode of CSI you slag. I’ll take that telly off you and play Call of Duty all night if you don’t RESPECT THE COCK.