Affectionate Diary

To get things straight early on, it’s important to state that Bioshock is seriously fucking good. The basic gameplay is absolutely superb and the environment is beautifully realised. However, despite the stellar achievements that define the game’s key play experience, it has to be noted that Bioshock is tragically flawed and that serious scores of 10 are committing the videogame review equivalent of a warcrime.

*

What fundamentally marrs Bioshock’s overall success is its disappointing preponderance for increasing levels of bullshit as the game runs its course. To ignore this and award the highest possible score is to condone poor choices of development authorities that are either shallow, unnecessarily frustrating or at worst, just plain lazy. That’s easily as bad as amputating the legs of orphan children in Chechnya so you can it blame on Russian bombs and get a harrowing video to the top of ‘most watched’ on LiveLeak. In fact, I think it’s slightly worse.
*

For the sake of people who haven’t witnessed the wonder that is Bioshock, I’ll go over them in horrific detail in the comments. For me, the bottom line is that it’s not as good as System Shock 2, although it suffers from a smiliarly stunning shark-jump ending, thankfully played out in an unintentionally hilarious movie.

For now, rest assured that despite my petty grievances, Bioshock is an often stunning and consistently rewarding thing to play, making it an utterly essential experience.
*

-50,000 / 10